Poor girl…I understand and can completely empathize. My ex husband and I went through this when I was pregnant with my third. (It was good for us to divorce!) But, if even a small piece of both of you believe you can salvage your love, even though your reflex after such emotional trauma is to withdraw, it would be more conducive to saving your marriage to reignite the intimacy. If not in the bedroom then in other ways. Try showing love and affection in small gestures like taking his plate to the sink for him when he is done eating his meal and laying his clothes out for work the night before. These are small things that require much selflessness. I yearned for my husband to WANT me and to crave me again like he did in the beginning. In order to regain this, you must remember what it took in the beginning to win him over. Never stop trying to win him over! And also, now that you feel like you have lost a competition that you didn’t realize you signed up for, show your competition that YOU are the one who he loved first and all she is is just a piece of slutty ass. (Which by the way is not impressive) When you are old and grey and the sex dries up (and eventually it does for everyone) then where will your bond with your husband lie? Your bond, your intimacy, must originate from friendship, from companionship. Sex is just sex…until you do it with your best friend. So make your husband your best friend ? my heart goes out to you. I hope that you both can renew your love for one another and gladly welcome this baby as partners together. I also hope that when reading this you were encouraged and did not in any way feel like I minimized your situation.

Have any of you noticed a big difference in your sex drive depending on if you are having a boy or girl?

I hear you, Laura L.: I think Genevieve genuinely tries hard to be as inclusive as possible (she’s devotedly so in her book, not a single presumptive pronoun). But there are a couple of goofs in this post (“husband” vs. partner, etc.) that surprised me, as well, because of her more typically inclusive tone. I appreciate your bringing your open-hearted listening to the conversation. It’s healthy food for thought for everyone here. <3