When he was first born, I found so many awesome books and online resources about breastfeeding. I learned about the proper latch, the appropriate amounts and times to nurse (any and all times!), the best breastfeeding positions, etc.

Griff and I sailed through nicely for the first 8 months because, up to that point, he really wasn’t eating a ton of solids.

Once he did start incorporating food, he dropped his afternoon feeding. Like any first time mom, I started wondering… “was this OK?” I then started looking for books and online sources to learn more about the process of weaning.

I didn’t find much information about breastfeeding the older baby or toddler… What I did find was vague and theoretical… I wanted a plan! Unlike the 8-12 feedings in 24 hour period guideline for newborns, all I saw were general statements like “the baby and you will figure it out.”

Here’s where I’m at now

Extended breastfeeding: what I’ve learned along the way

I stumbled through the weaning process by talking to other moms, a lactation consultant, and La Leche League members. What I’ve learned along the way is trust yourself and trust your baby. Your baby will lead the way.

The weaning process certainly isn’t linear

There’s no set plan or program for extended breastfeeding. All we can do is share our experience. We need to talk more about this so that we aren’t alone though.

By 13 months, Griffin went down to one nap a day, and dropped another feeding. At this point, he had just three feedings during the day; however he was still getting up two times a night for feedings.

At 14 months, Griffin started sleeping through the night

Griffin sleeping through the night is a whole other (joyous) post. What it meant for his nursing was that he was down to just three sessions a day and zero in the night (yippee!). He nurses once when he wakes up, once before his midday nap, and once before bed. Easy peasy!

In between, he’s eating a good amount of food, mostly fruits, vegetables, whole yogurt, cottage cheese, raw cheeses and some soaked or sprouted grains.

I have not supplemented with any other milk (cow, goat, etc.) because Griff is getting 16-20 ounces a day of breast milk which is plenty.

He pretty much sticks to our little schedule, but occasionally he’ll nurse spontaneously if he’s upset or tired, which I love.

And that’s where we are now…

In retrospect, I think the reason there isn’t really specific weaning protocols is because of the huge variances between babies. Some kiddos are still nursing 5 times a day at 2 1/2 years old. Some babies fully wean at 10 months despite their mamas wanting them to continue. And there’s everything in-between.

So, let’s talk about extended breastfeeding and learn from each other.

Need  breastfeeding help?

Breastfeeding Gets Easier (So Stick With It!) Cheat Sheet

Update!

I ended up weaning my extended breastfeeding toddler at 2 years of age. Click here to read and see how I did it.

How about you?

What’s your weaning experience been like? Are you extended breastfeeding on demand or setting limits?

Here are more breastfeeding resources:

• Top 10 Breastfeeding Tips
• 10 Breastfeeding Benefits You May Not Have Heard Of
• Lactation Consultant to the Rescue! (What they do and how to work with them)
• All About La Leche League
• Breastfeeding in Public: Do You Know Your Rights?
• Top 10 Signs You’re Breastfeeding a Toddler
• Breastfeeding Gets Easier (So Stick With It!)

The post Extended Breastfeeding the Older Baby or Toddler appeared first on Mama Natural.

Watch the video below to let us show you just how much different breastfeeding a toddler is than breastfeeding a newborn.

Alternatively, you can check out this little recap I put together below:

Every necklace becomes a choker

Yeah—that necklace you love? You might want to retire it for a little while. Otherwise, your toddler might just end up yanking it right off. A broken necklace? A hurt neck? No, thank you!

You now have dinner conversation

Well, at least you now always have someone to talk to during meal times, amiright?!

They sometimes pick a winner

Little prodding hands don’t just grab necklaces—they’ll grab anything in sight. And sometimes that means your nose. Or an eye—ouch!

They begin to multitask

So much for quick, focused nursing sessions. You can say goodbye to quiet snuggle sessions, too. Your toddler wants to eat and do 100 other things at the same time. Play with a toy? Check! Grab your phone? Check! Settle in, mama.

Suddenly your baby wears glasses

Oh, and those glasses on your face? You know those aren’t your glasses right. They’ll either end up on baby’s face or with smudges all over those nice clean lenses. Go ahead—you might as well get the cleaning cloth out before you even sit down.

Your shirt becomes a cookie jar

It doesn’t matter where you are or what time it is—your toddler wants milk, and they want it now. Be prepared to hear those demands for more over and over… and over again.

Your boob doubles as a chew toy

Forget that gummy, toothless smile of the baby you once nursed. Your toddler has teeth now—a full set of them. Get ready for some accidental (and rather painful) nibbles.

Free dental work!

Too bad a toddler sticking their hand in your mouth over and over again doesn’t actually qualify as free dental work. Could have saved you a ton of money!

You long for the days when baby would fall asleep

Remember when baby would doze off as soon as they got a taste of that nice, warm milk? Yep, that’s not happening anymore. You’re in it for the long-haul, mama!

Some days, you wish daddy could take over

OK, truth is: You wouldn’t change anything for the world. But sometimes—just once in a while—you think to yourself, now, wouldn’t that be nice?!

How About You?

So how about it, mama? Do you know what we’re talking about? I want to hear from you: Share your extended breastfeeding experiences below.

Need Breastfeeding Help?

If you need breastfeeding help of any kind, I’ve got tons of other resources for you:

Breastfeeding Gets Easier (So Stick With It!) Cheat Sheet

The post Top 10 Signs You’re Breastfeeding a Toddler appeared first on Mama Natural.

But now… you’re pregnant again!

What do you do? Keep nursing? Wean? Some mamas are ready to wean, and their little ones may even wean themselves due to changing milk tastes from the hormones of pregnancy. But other little ones nurse on, with seemingly no end in sight.

What’s a mama to do? Tandem nurse!

In this post, we’ll unpack what tandem nursing is, why you’d want to do it, and how to do it with relative ease.

What is tandem nursing?

Tandem nursing is the practice of nursing two babies at the same time. This can take two forms: nursing twins, or nursing a toddler and an older child.

It can entail a few different scenarios:

• nursing the toddler first, perhaps to alleviate engorgement, then nursing the baby
• nursing the baby first, to make sure he gets the most milk
• nursing two at the same time, with one baby on each breast

It can also include what some call tri-andem nursing, or nursing three or more children at once (Can you imagine?!).

How long have women been tandem nursing?

Probably the first mention was in Roman mythology, where a she-wolf tandem nursed twin brothers, Romulus and Remus, the main characters of Rome’s foundational myth. This time period is when wet nursing was common practice. We know ancient Rome held wet nurses in high esteem, as did Victorian England (where it might be a woman with an illegitimate child who chooses to nurse).

According to Norma Jean Baumgartner in Mothering Your Nursing Toddler, tandem nursing is probably not all that common in other cultures, most of whom believe nursing during pregnancy would…

• harm the fetus
• turn the milk bad
• deplete the mother

Moreover, some cultures have taboos against sex during lactation (and pregnancy), meaning the mother cannot get pregnant until her child has weaned.  Tandem nursing, therefore, while not taboo itself, is something simply not done. (To learn more about pregnancy while breastfeeding, read this post.)

Benefits of tandem nursing

But tandem nursing does happen for a variety of reasons, and there are definite benefits, both emotional and physical:

• Tandem nursing can help relieve engorgement in a mother with a newborn.
• The older child can help manage a mom’s fast letdown (once mature milk comes in) before the newborn nurses, helping the infant not feel overwhelmed or gassy/colicky from the rush of milk to her immature digestive system.
• Emotionally, it may help reduce feelings of jealously from the older child.
• Tandem nursing can also bond the two children together, since it’s an activity they can do together (if you nurse simultaneously). And even if they don’t do it at same time, it’s something they share… mother’s milk.
• It may support robust milk production in mom.
• Tandem nursing can also help moms who feel they aren’t bonding as much with the older child due to newborn demands. Continuing to breast-feed the older child is good for a consistent bond before and after the birth of a newborn.
• The older child continues to receive the health benefits from breast milk.

Benefits of extended breast-feeding

Truth is, breast milk is incredibly beneficial for children, even past the age of 1, when most moms are told it’s time to wean. And yet, it’s common knowledge that our immune systems aren’t fully developed until age 2, and that breastmilk is brimming with antibodies that support healthy immunity.

Breast-fed babies have lower instances of immune-related conditions like allergies, asthma, diabetes, and juvenile arthritis. Because of this, and poorer water conditions in developing countries, the WHO recommends breast-feeding a child until at least 2 years of age.

And while there aren’t a lot of U.S. studies on long-term breast-feeding, a newer study found that children who were breast-fed longer than U.S. averages had better vocabulary at age 3 and higher intelligence when tested at age 7 (according to standardized testing parameters).

Potential drawbacks to tandem nursing

Just like with everything, there can be issues with tandem nursing, but most are able to be resolved…

• Issue: The toddler will take all the milk the baby needs—mainly, the rich, creamy hindmilk.
  • Solution: Nurse the children on different breasts, being careful to switch sides at each feeding. If you don’t feed them at the same time, put the baby on the breast the toddler last nursed on, so baby gets the rich hindmilk.
• Issue: Mom won’t produce enough milk for baby.
  • Solution: Breast-feeding is a tight feedback loop based on supply and demand. The more baby and toddler nurse and milk is expelled, the more milk will be produced. Always nurse on demand, and don’t follow the clock or feeding schedules. Occasionally, hormonal imbalances will interfere with this process. In these situations, tandem nursing may not be the best option.
• Issue: Moms worry about their nipples becoming too sore from so much nursing. 
  • Solution: Don’t assume you’ll have nipple dryness or pain. There are Areolar glands surrounding the nipples that secrete oil to keep nipples lubricated and protected. (Interesting to note: they also produce a smell that signals food to newborn.) If you start to have soreness issues, be sure to check your latch with a Lactation Consultant. You can also use ice packs, lanolin, and nipple cream to help with discomfort. Airing out your breasts can help (walking around bare-chested), and you can also try to cut back on toddler feedings if this helps with soreness.

What about colostrum?

You might have noticed your breast milk changing during your pregnancy. (First off, you probably saw a drop in your production thanks to progesterone, the hormone that surges in pregnancy.) Around the 6th month, your mature milk starts reverting to colostrum for your newborn. (In fact, your toddler may have had looser stool due to the bowel-stimulating effects of colostrum, which ensures that your newborn will expel all of his meconium.)

Colostrum is a very special food specifically designed for your baby’s first few days of life. It is critical that your newborn should get “first dibs” on mom’s breasts so that he gets all of the therapeutic benefits of colostrum. In fact, you might want to restrict your older child from nursing long periods or at all during this time. That’s how important the colostrum is for the newborn. It seals the gut, and provides important proteins and immune-boosting antibodies.

Once your mature milk comes in, usually a few days postpartum, then you can proceed full steam ahead with tandem nursing.

Is baby getting enough?

You can make sure your newborn is getting enough breast milk by closely monitoring his diapers and urine/feces output.

Wet diapers

According to KellyMom, a baby usually has one wet diaper for each day of life at first (1 on day one, 2 on day two, etc). Once your mature milk comes in, you should expect 5–6+ wet diapers every 24 hours. A “wet diaper” is usually about 2 TB to 1/4 cup of urine.

Dirty diapers

Similar to wet diapers, a baby should have one dirty diaper for each day of life (1 on day one, 2 on day two, etc). Keep in mind that 1 diaper may have pee and poo :). After about day 4, a breast-fed baby’s stool should be yellow, and he should have at least 3–4 stools daily that are the size of 1 TB.

Will my milk be suited for the newborn?

You have probably heard that your breast milk changes its composition as your child grows to meet his specific needs. Some moms worry that by tandem nursing, their milk will be suited for the toddler and not the newborn.

No need to worry.

As mentioned earlier, your breast milk changed during pregnancy back to colostrum to meet your newborn baby’s nutritional needs. Think of this as a milk “reset,” and your production will now follow your youngest child’s developmental needs (not your toddler’s). Mother Nature, in her everlasting wisdom, is always protecting the most vulnerable life for the survival of the species.

How does tandem nursing work?

OK, let’s get down to it. How do you actually tandem nurse?

For mamas

Well, some women prefer assigning a breast to each child for the duration of the breast-feeding relationship. Others like to rotate every other day or prefer to alternate breasts during every feeding.

Some moms will want to nurse their two children at the same time. Others will feel uncomfortable doing this, either because of the double-nipple stimulation, or because of emotional reasons such as feeling like a farm animal, feeling drained, or wanting to focus on one child at a time.

For toddlers

Some toddlers will want to nurse every time the baby breast-feeds, in which case you should plan to camp out on the couch with a glass of water and snacks in easy reach.

Other toddlers will only want to nurse occasionally; these are the easiest to manage, because you can nurse the babies separately. You may find that the toddler accepts “not now” easily, or you may find that the toddler throws a tantrum when he can’t breast-feed.

Remember, these are your breasts; your toddler is nursing not for primary nutrition, but for comfort. If you need to take a step away, for whatever reason, that’s OK!

Best positions for tandem nursing

Let’s talk about how we can latch two babies to the breast.

• A cozy way is to nurse them both in a cradle hold, with the baby in the toddler’s lap
• You can also try laid-back breastfeeding, where the baby and toddler both recline on the mother, their feet pointed towards her
• You can also breast-feed one child in a cradle hold and one in a football hold
• The toddler can kneel next to you to nurse while mom holds the newborn
• The toddler can lean over from behind you to nurse while mom holds the newborn

What if I feel touched-out, agitated, or annoyed at my toddler?

Just as continuing to nurse your toddler through pregnancy is a personal decision, so is the choice to tandem nurse. It’s normal to feel agitated, touched-out, or tired of nursing the toddler. You may even feel fleeting resentment at the toddler for nursing at all. If you have these feelings all the time, it’s time to evaluate whether weaning might be a good choice for both of you. It’s not fair to the child to hear mama say “yes” when she really means “No!”

There are many solutions other than weaning, however.

• You can tell your toddler “not now;” a kind “not now” opens the the door to a later “yes, you can nurse.”
• If you’re feeling touched out, be honest and say the milkies are tired. You can also say there’s no milk right now.
• Try not to let the toddler nurse when you feel annoyed at them, and don’t snap at them when they’re at the breast.
• If you don’t want to nurse two babies at the same time—and some people can’t handle that feeling—be open with your toddler about it. That can help preserve nursing as your special comfort time away from the baby.
• If you turn down your toddler, he may ask why the baby gets to nurse all the time. You can explain that the baby needs nursing as his food and water. Get silly and ask, “You don’t need nursing as your only food and water, do you? You can eat …” and list off your toddler’s favorite foods. Try to get them to chime in with some too, if they’re old enough. In fact, if you do say no, you can offer a piece of cheese or other nutritious food to your toddler instead, including a cup of milk.
• Reading your toddler a book while you nurse may help you feel less touched out; you can also find another special activity for toddler if you need a break, such as stickers.

What if I decide tandem nursing isn’t for me?

However, if you decide to wean because you can’t get past the agitation or resentment (perfectly normal) about nursing a toddler, don’t beat yourself up. Remember that tandem nursing is a personal decision, and while it can help a toddler move through a transitional time, it’s far worse to have a resentful mother than a breast-feeding relationship.

Tips on weaning toddler

If you want to cut down on tandem nursing, there are several strategies you can take. (We have a whole post on this topic here.) Many experts and experienced moms recommend a period of three weeks after birth to allow the toddler to nurse whenever he wants.

• After that, you can tell the toddler you’d like to nurse with only him. This should start to cut down the nursing sessions.
• You can tell the toddler your milkies are tired or ouchie.
• Drop one feeding at a time.
• Offer a substitution (such as that cup of milk).
• Tell them “later”—sometimes later never comes.
• Shorten your toddler’s nursing session. Let them nurse up to the count of ten; this can satisfy him while keeping him from a full nursing session

There are gentle ways to wean, including cutting your breast-feeding down to once a day (you would likely pick bedtime). But don’t feel pressure to do even that. You’re the mama, and you know best.

So, what’s tandem nursing all about?

Tandem nursing is an adventure. It can be the right answer for some mother-baby-toddler triads, and not the right practice for others. There is no judgement or shame, regardless of what you and your family choose.

If you do decide to tandem, remember that as long as you let the baby nurse first during the first few days to get the colostrum, your breasts will most likely respond and make enough milk to nourish two babies. In fact, some times you may find they could feed more!

With tandem nursing, you can count on a toddler who appreciates being able to be a baby once in a while, and siblings with a closer bond than they may have had otherwise. Tandem nursing can help a mom as she’s negotiating life with a toddler and a newborn. It can help keep everyone happy, fed, and content—including mama. And that’s what tandem nursing is all about.

The post Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding an Infant and Toddler appeared first on Mama Natural.

I knew I wanted to nurse my son Griffin until he reached two years of age. It’s recommended by the AAFP and WHO, and research shows the most benefits for mom and child nursing this long.

But I also knew I didn’t want to be pregnant and nursing, which meant that I had to wean my toddler. In this post, I’ll show you how I weaned two-year-old Griffin without much drama. Plus I’ll share some tips from years later, when I weaned my daughter Faith at age two.

First, let me say that many, many moms nurse while pregnant with great success. Many go on to tandem nurse, which means they nurse both their newborn and their older child. And that’s great.

But I knew this wasn’t for me. Physically and emotionally, I knew I needed a break.

So, right around Griffin’s 2nd birthday, I started figuring out how to wean my toddler.

Weaning toddler. Here’s how I did it.

1. Create a replacement

I remember when I gave up Diet Coke over 14 years ago. I drank six DC’s a day and loved the whole ritual of it… the crack of the can, the fizzy bite, the caffeine kick. To all of a sudden take that away would have been a huge shock and loss. So, I replaced my habit with another drinking ritual. I bought a fancy water bottle. Each morning, I filled it with filtered water and added lemon and ice. Then I drank it throughout the day. To my surprise, I really started enjoying it.

With Griffin, I used “hot teas” as a replacement for nursing. I made these drinks with:

• 1 cup of raw (from a trusted farmer) or at least organic whole milk
• 1 tsp to 1 TB of raw honey or maple syrup (taste for the sweetness you like)
• And a dash of sea salt

Then I steamed it all to a froth in our espresso maker.

I introduced these drinks slowly. First, I made it seem like it was a big deal and Griffin only got small sips of mommy’s. I then asked him if he wanted his own hot tea. He was thrilled. I then said, do you want hot tea or nummies (our word for breastfeeding)?

He chose the hot tea, sipping it while we read stories. By the time we were through, he was filled up, satisfied, and I put him down without a word.

So find a drink your kid LOVES—smoothies, sweetened kefir, hot milk with honey, even milk shakes can be healthy and nourishing—and introduce this as a replacement. Weaning toddler win No. 1.

2. Limit nursing sessions

At some point, Griffin caught onto the fact that he wasn’t getting the nummies at naptime, and he starting asking for them right as I put him in his crib. Sometimes I’d cave, but, when I did, I put a time limit on his nursing session. He accepted this because he was already so full from the hot tea! This was an important step because it shows the child that their days of unlimited access to the breast are over.

Some moms say 1 minute for each boob. Some sing a short song and the child has to stop when song is over. Be creative. And of course, it’s a whole other ball of wax when you’re co-sleeping with your child. Weaning toddler win No. 2.

3. Go slowly

I didn’t want to wean Griffin quickly, as nursing had been a constant in our lives for literally years. So, for several weeks, I just replaced the nap time nursing with the hot milk. Griffin still nursed before bedtime and first thing in the morning.

I took six months for the entire process. You could do it in three months for sure, or even two. But I wanted to take my time. And I had no major engorgement or other issues. Weaning toddler win No. 3.

4. Get daddy or others involved

After about 2-3 weeks, I replaced the night time nursing session with the hot tea. Here’s where daddy came into play. I had Mike put Griffin down at night. This was a big change, because I’d nursed Griffin down at night for years. And Griffin protested at first. But the stories daddy read him were good, and the hot tea was good, and soon he got used to it.

Several weeks later, we did the same thing for the morning nursing session. Mike was the one to get up and play with Griffin—and give him that morning hot tea.

Know that this doesn’t go on forever and after a few weeks, I was able to put Griffin down at night or go in in the morning without nursing.

For co-sleeping mamas, I recommend weaning night feeding first, then daytime. To help you wean, you can have the child sleep near dad instead of you. Tell your child that the nummies went night night too, and that they will have to wait to nurse until morning. Weaning toddler win No. 4.

5. Make the decision

My final tip is to commit to the process. And this was probably hardest for me. After 3 months, Griffin was basically weaned, but I couldn’t end it completely. Griffin would get hurt and want to nurse for comfort. Or he’d get sick and I wanted to give him the extra nutrition and antibodies.

I said I wanted to be done, but part of me didn’t. I loved the idea of Griffin choosing when he would stop nursing, not me.

But then I got pregnant. At that time, Griffin was nursing every 3 days or so. But I found that, within 24 hours after he nursed, I had slight uterine cramping. Probably nothing too serious, but it freaked me out enough to decide I was done.

Once I made the decision, there was no turning back. When the moments came when Griffin wanted to nurse, I dug deep and found other ways to comfort him. Cuddling, singing, foot rubs. Especially the foot rubs. I give him one every night before bed.

2020 Update – Weaning My 2 Year Old Daughter

I weaned my daughter Faith right at her second birthday. Of all of my children, she was my best nurser and truly loved it. But it was time, for so many reasons. Here are some things I did to make it gentler on her:

• I had my husband run point on naptime and bedtime. In other words, take over during the key nursing windows!
• When I was with Faith, I wore a thick, high neck sweatshirt. Living in Florida, this wan’t easy. LOL. But, it did send the signal of “no access” and “out of sight, out of mind.”
• And I relied on good ol’ distraction. When she’d ask for “boobies,” I would:
  • Take her outside. (When it wasn’t raining or hurricane-ing!).
  • Give her a little snack. Squeezies. Treats. Special stuff.
  • Tickle her or give her a kiss attack.
  • Hug, cuddle, kiss, snuggle, sing and pray with her constantly. I really wanted her to KNOW that me weaning her wasn’t a sign of rejection or a punishment.

Weaning toddler. How did you do it?

Did you intentionally wean your toddler? Or did they self-wean? How did it all go down? And at what age? Share with us in the comments below.

The post Weaning Toddler: 5 Easy and Natural Tips appeared first on Mama Natural.